


Polyester Hats and Checkered Scarves - Saiouma Nonsense Collection

by booperbeanv3



Series: Saiouma Oneshot Collection [2]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Short One Shot, alternative title: fics that burned in my twitter drafts, gays are real, kokichi ouma is sad bc projection, sorry i haven't updated lcv3 uh i swear i'll get to it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28036650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booperbeanv3/pseuds/booperbeanv3
Summary: I annoy the twitter tl with my fanfic threads TOO OFTEN here goesalso i need to stop forcing myself to churn out 1k minimum to please an audience i made up myselfi would appreciate criticism and feedbackwelcome to saiouma hell
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Saiouma Oneshot Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995550
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Shuuichi. [Dangan Salmon Team]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was sad :(
> 
> Prompt: None

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need somewhere to put my shit without getting yelled at about tagging and weird timing bye bye  
> first thing wahahahahha  
> au - salmon team  
> this was just a thing so i could make a funny draft joke help

Shuuichi.  
Shuuichi, Shuuichi, Shuuichi—his name is sweet and smooth like butter candy. It's addicting! The attention he gets, the reactions he receives, the occasional witty comment or two.  
He loves lying around him. He loves being around him.  
Shuuichi is addicting.

Call him creepy, call him crazy but Kokichi doesn't mind it all.  
Perhaps if this were a killing game, he'd berate himself until his death—but it isn't.  
Perhaps if he knew he was in love, he'd try to force himself to tear up his emotions—but he doesn't.

To Kokichi, he just finds Shuuichi entertaining. Interesting. Intriguing.  
To Shuuichi, well, he doesn't even have a clue what's going on.  
He's smart but he's dense. He can't tell when others are interested in him, and that's fine!

It works perfectly in this case.

"Ignorance is bliss, Shumai," Kokichi would say. "Some things are better left unsaid. Untold."  
He'd always mention it casually and humourously. It often contradicts previous tales he's stated.

Does it matter if it all adds up? Of course not! Because Shuuichi is fun to talk to. He's lying for lying's sake.  
Because Shuuichi is oblivious.  
[And so is he.]

It's an ongoing chase.  
"What does Kokichi truly mean?" Shuuichi would ponder.  
"What does Shuuichi really want?" Kokichi would question. Question as he doodles on the whiteboard in his dormitory, erasing and scribbling new words under his frame.

Nosy, quick-witted, entertaining.  
It all doesn't sound... Right.  
So all that's there is a black question mark under Shuuichi's portrait.

With each new "date", Kokichi knows more and more.  
With each new interaction, Shuuichi starts catching on  
He likes his jokes.

He likes his jokes?  
He likes his jests! And Shuuichi starts laughing a bit more each day.

It's frustrating.  
He sounds at peace.  
He sounds content.  
"You sure are something, Kokichi."  
He sounds... Happy.

Kokichi's eyes begin to sting. His heart pangs a little more.  
.  
Why does it... Hurt?

Maybe Kokichi won't stay oblivious any longer.

He likes seeing Shuuichi smile.  
It's soft, it's kind, it's... Nice.  
He likes seeing Shuuichi happy with his dumb smile.  
It's cute.  
Shuuichi is cute.  
It's surprisingly hard to admit, but he's cute.

He wants to know him more,  
And so he splurges on another few date tickets just for Shuuichi.

With each new date, Shuuichi knows more and more.  
With each new interaction, Kokichi starts catching on.

He's nice.  
He's kind.  
Kokichi's worries are a little bit lesser because he listens.  
Kokichi would almost consider him as... Trustworthy.

He feels safe when he sees that smile.  
He feels his heart warm up when Shuuichi tells him to continue.  
He feels cared for.

He'd say he feels at home but be doesn't even know what "home" is.  
He'd say he feels loved but he doesn't even know if Shuuichi feels that way.  
It's funny, he might have dug himself a hole too deep.  
Because he thinks he loves Shuuichi.

It's hard to say, it's hard to feel, it's hard to admit.  
But maybe he loves him.  
Maybe he cares about him.  
Maybe he thinks of him as "trustworthy". 

He hates it.  
He hates himself.  
He hates Shuuichi for making him feel this way.  
But maybe he can hate himself a little less when Shuuichi tells him it's ok.  
Maybe he can hate the feeling a little less when Shuuichi has him in his arms.

Maybe he can hate Shuuichi a little less when he says he loves him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried while writing this bye bye


	2. Seven Minutes In Hell [Dangan Salmon Team]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a request.
> 
> Prompt: Seven Minutes In Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a request uhh stuff here  
> \- trans shuuichi [not really mentioned i didn't know how to not make it awkward]  
> \- seven minutes in heaven
> 
> angst wasn't asked for but i gave it anyway whoops  
> hiewhwhhwhwhehwes i just remembered about the thing and so i aggresively copy-pasted this
> 
> au is dangan salmon team

Silence.

Shifting.

"You... You're lying.." Ouma mumbles, clenching his fists and digging his nails into his palms. Is this some cruel joke? Does Saihara want to play with his heart even more?

It's almost laughable. So much so he wants to gouge his eyes out.

"You're lying!" he unintentionally raises his voice, "I never thought I'd see the day when Saihara Shuuichi tries to spit such an obvious lie right to my face!"

This was a bad decision for sure. Worst thing is, it was Ouma who had decided this.

Well, there's nobody he can blame but himself.

Meanwhile, Saihara's at the other end of the closet, twiddling with his fingers and trying to collect what exactly he did wrong.

This was a bad decision for sure.

To Saihara, it's not like he had any other choice. Ouma has been avoiding him ever since the motive came. Being stuck in a cramped closet like this would be the perfect opportunity to talk about how he really feels.

Apparently not.

Ouma laughs, although it sounds more like a pained wheeze if anything.

"Where's your brain? Did Momota-chan's toxic optimism rot your mind?" A sneer. Ouma taps the side of Saihara's head.

What does Saihara do? Nothing. He was rendered mute as soon as he uttered those three words.

_ I like you. _

It's so confusing. The same Ouma who'd throw nicknames, throw compliments, even go as far as call him his 'beloved'

is the same one berating him for feeling the same.

How many more minutes does he have again?

"Hey hey, don't ignore me you prick!"

Saihara opens his mouth to speak but his voice gets caught in his throat. His chest feels light, like his organs have been hollowed out, but he can't breathe either.

All he can really do is coil further into the closet side.

"Say something, Saihara!" No.. He can't be mistaken. Ouma's crying and it's all his fault, isn't it? Hiccups, whines, Saihara's never heard anything like it.

So he tries again, to speak that is.

"Why would I lie about something like that?"

Of course, the other doesn't find that response very satisfactory. Ouma's teeth sink into his lower lip.

"... Y- You're the detective.. I'm the thief. You're trying to get something out of me, aren't you?"

Ouma just refuses to believe that anyone actually cares about him. Saihara deserves better anyway, but he can't simply say that to his face.

/ _ You deserve someone better. _ / Like who? Mr and Ms Toxic Positivity? Killer Girl? Amami? That's just making it sound like he's sinking into a puddle of his own tears and self pity. Ouma doesn't need any pity, any sympathy. It'll make him feel weaker than he already is.

It's so pathetic, Ouma could cry harder. It's awful enough that he's crying at all, but he can always pretend he had a good reason or simply just lie.

Saihara's eyes widen.

"Wh- Ouma-kun! I'd never do that..!" It's on Ouma if he 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 to believe that, and a simple read of the room shows he won't.

Ouma digs his fingers into his hair, gripping harshly. "Shut your fucking mouth! You're lying!" Laced with poison, he tries to stab the dagger of his words into Saihara again. What does he even want anymore? / _Oh, don't ignore me!_ _Actually wait, you should probably take a swan dive off the roof and never speak to anyone again!_ / 

It's so awful! Just... Awful!! If Saihara were any smarter, maybe he'd get the hint that Ouma isn't someone to like and be sure as hell isn't a broken doll to fix either.

But hey, if Momota can convince Saihara to just 'talk it out' during these seven minutes in hell, maybe that positivity high can make him do anything.

Like decide that  _ hugging Ouma _ was the best course of action.

...

This is a cruel joke. It's a nightmare. It's hell.

And to be frank, it's quite funny.

Saihara doesn't like him. There's no way he does. There's no.. Way...

Now Ouma's the one falling silent and trembling now that he doesn't have anything to say; or rather doesn't have anything that'll make the situation any better.

/ _ Get off of me. _ / Ouma knows he has dropped into Saihara's arms like a dead fly. There's no going back, and he hates himself for enjoying what he's craved for so long.

His arms give out, instead choosing to hang by his sides.

"You're... You.."

"I'm sorry," is all Saihara says, rubbing his hand in a circular motion on Ouma's back.

He's tired. Ouma rests his head on Saihara's shoulder. His body is moving on its own at this point, trying to collect a sort of comfort he knows isn't genuine.

"You're an idiot."

And Ouma wraps his arms around Saihara in return.

"I... Don't like you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing changed here i juts needed to shove it


	3. Cliché 554: Out Of Town [Pre-Game]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a scrapped fic.
> 
> Prompt: fluffy pregame bc y'all CANNOT behave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREGAMEPREGANE PRE ASG EMM  
> not me reading over that pregame valentine's fic so i can try and write like that  
> nothing was copypasted but eh
> 
> ;LKJHGFDS y'all cannot behave stop making kagehara creepy he;s just sweaty and awkward Y'ALL CANNOT ACT

Scribbling.  
Scribbling.  
Scribbling.  
He looks over at the references open on his phone and back at his cartridge paper notebook.   
He’s been sketching for a while now, trying to match the art style of his favourite game and TV series. A young looking man with dirty blonde hair over one of his eyes. A large hooded, wide sleeved black cloak with a design on it that resembles the human skeleton. Dark leggings and birch boots.   
In bright, bold kanji, there was a name to the left of the character.

Ouma Kokichi.  
This was him after all, or rather an idealised variation.

Ouma would say he’s proud of the drawing seeing as he’s wasted so much time trying to perfect it. The devious smirk captures his trickster personality well, although the ‘hair-over-eye’ thing seemed a bit cliché.. 

He snaps a picture and decides to send it to his friend. Boyfriend? He wasn’t really sure.. He and Saihara may have started dating a week or two ago and may have been super clingy with each other and may have uh.. Made out. A lot. But it still feels strange calling him something so intimate!

Ouma mentally smacks himself and calls him an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot about this draft tbh

**Author's Note:**

> twitter - @booperbeanv3  
> tumblr - booperbeanv3.tumblr.com  
> discord - booperbean#2390


End file.
